Parenting is a Lot Like a Road Trip

I started my new radio show this week on BlogTalkRadio! It’s called Mom-Tales Radio…An Adventure in Parenting. You can listen to the archived show, and find out about future show’s here http://www.blogtalkradio.com/mom-tales.

I just did the first show today and it was blast. If you didn’t get a chance to listen in, here’s a little bit of what I talked about…

You notice our little subtitle in Mom-Tales Radio is The Adventures in Parenting. Why? Because parenting is an adventure isn’t it? An adventure not unlike a road trip across the United States. Before you go on a road trip you have an idea of where you are going. You make a plan. You map it out. You book your motels in advance. You block out time to visit all the sites, the parks and historic places that interest you. You check the weather reports and pack your bags as best you can for the trip.

But what really happens when you get out there on the road? Oh, some of it may go as you planned it. But much of it doesn’t. There are variables like the place you really wanted to visit is closed for refurbishing. Or the main road is closed due to mudslides or fires. Or, the hotel doesn’t have your reservation. Or, a sudden storm has come in and all you packed were shorts and flip flops. Or…you so love one place, you decided to stay an extra day or two and cancel the next town altogether.

So the only way you are going to enjoy your vacation is…to be flexible. To go with the flow. To not get caught up in how it is “supposed to be.” To just be present and enjoy what’s in front of you. And very often, that detour…that place you visited because the one you had planned to visit was closed…turns out to be the most memorable of all.

Well, parenting is like when you think about it. You begin the journey stocked with everything you need…flush from the bounty of your baby shower. You’ve got everything organized and ready for your little bundle of joy. You’ve read the What to Expect Books and have a plan in mind about how your first few weeks with your new baby will go.

But, when baby arrives, the plan often goes out the window. All babies and all children (and all mothers for that matter) are not the same. Some babies have colic, some babies have trouble latching on to the breast, some babies need much more rocking and soothing than others. Some moms experience post partum depression. The only thing you can count on, really…is that things will be different that you had planned. That…and a serious lack of sleep.

And so it goes for the remainder of parenting. Darn if these kids don’t always follow along as we want them to! Also, we are often not the parents we had envisioned ourselves to be before they arrived.
And many times, the advice that makes perfect sense in the parenting books, just doesn’t work for you and your child.

So the only thing that makes sense…the only thing that will prevent us from totally tearing our hair out in frustration…is to be flexible. To stay present. To begin to appreciate how different…how unique…your child is. And to try different things until you figure out what works with your children…in your family.

Then once you’ve figured it out…watch out…because they’ll change. Boy, they go through stages so fast it makes your head spin. And when they are in the middle of the stage we think…oh my god! What’s wrong with this kid? What am I doing wrong? We get so caught up in trying to fix it and make it better. We get so serious about it, we forget to enjoy the adventure. We stop noticing all the great stuff. And sometimes…many times, if we just relax and wait it out (being as loving and supportive as we can) the stage is over, and they’ve grown out of it.

However, and this is a big however, sometimes they don’t grow out of it. Sometimes it’s not “just a stage.” Sometimes the challenge is truly something we need address. Sometimes it’s an issue that doesn’t go away…that your children aren’t growing out of.

In other words…sometimes it’s time to get professional help. And,please don’t hesitate to do that, because a professional can very often be the objective observer that you need and be able to counsel you and your children…introducing a different approach that makes all the difference.

Ultimately, your children are terrific kids who are very much loved by their parents. Parents who will do anything within their power to help them overcome their limitations and express the best that is within them. And that’s all we, as parents, can do for our children. That, and forgive ourselves when we blow it.

It’s so important to get inspired and stay inspired. I don’t care if you have easy going kids, or children who are “difficult:, or if you have children with a disorder or a disability, or if you are blessed to have normal, active kids and you have a busy schedule trying to balance work and family…it’s vital to nurture yourself…be good to yourself and stay inspired.

So come over to Mom-Tales.com and read from dozens of inspiring tales mom have written in. Then, when you have an inspiring moment, come share it with others. You may just be that bright light in a stressed mom’s day.

www.BlogTalkRadio.com/Mom-Tales